Peer Editing OR NOT!

I attempted to have students look at each others essays; however, I do not believe that this was successful. It might be the level of talking that was taking place instead of reading.

I have included models on previous blogs to help students who find writing difficult, but because writing is such a focused task, many students are having difficulty. Hopefully, they will listen better and take advantage of opportunities when a teacher takes the time to explain how to write.

I am attaching my final draft. This includes models that I have referred to in class. However, I have identified what elements students should include in their paragraphs.

LEAD: Most people understand that the high school dropout rate affects the nation as a whole. FACT/STAT: According to DoSomething.Org, every twenty-six seconds, a high school student drops out of school. That is 7,000 dropout every day. PRECISE CLAIM: Since high school drop outs make less money, and might have to rely on assistance, students should be required by law to stay in school until they graduate. (states position and reasons)

TOPIC SENTENCE: Students who do not have a high school diploma decrease their earning potential. EVIDENCE: A data analysis conducted in 2009 indicates that the average high school dropout made $19,540 yearly, while a student who graduated made $27,380 yearly (Source #3). EXPLANATION: That’s a difference of $7,840. Over the course of a lifetime, the high school graduate will have made over $200,000 more. TRANSITION: Additionally, the person making less than $20,000 a year will have a difficult time paying every day expenses, such as rent, food, utilities, and insurance. If a person finds himself in this position, he might have to rely on assistance. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Should that happen, the decision to drop out of school no longer is an individual issue but one of national importance.

TOPIC SENTENCE: Unquestionably, if the dropout rates affect the nation at this level, then something must be done to address this problem. EVIDENCE: Mia Lewis, a reporter for National Education Weekly, quotes President Obama saying, “When students don’t walk away from their education, more of them walk the stage to get their diploma” (Source 2). EXPLANATION: Obviously, if schools are successful in keeping students in school, the students will more than likely graduate and be better prepared to face the job market or college. Furthermore, graduating more students would save billions of dollars in public assistance. EVIDENCE: In the same way, if we set[] the moral imperative that students, parents, and educators become committed to the idea that each student will in fact graduate” (Source 2). In general, when an issue carries of sense of right and wrong, most people will choose “right.” EXPLANATION AND CONCLUDING THOUGHT: Placing a moral responsibility on those most affected by the problem should provide enough of a burden to make everyone believe that it is in the best interest of the nation to keep its students in school.

COUNTER: Although society wants to keep all students in school, we understand that students who do not want to be in school or have special circumstances that might have a negative impact on the school; REBUTTAL: however, if the school works to help a student through difficult situations like Marissa in Source #1, she might still be able to graduate with a GED and help the parents at the same time. There are charitable organizations willing to help families in need. On the other hand, if a student does not want to be in school at all, REBUTTAL: the school should consider what alternative options can be created to engage that student. Additional pathways to graduation like those that Kentucky offers is one option (Source #4). Understanding why students drop out is necessary to deal with this social issue.

PRECISE CLAIM REVERSED: Keeping students in school will help them to make more money and will decrease their chance of having to rely on public assistance. PROOF: Without a high school diploma, students might find themselves in low paying jobs, find themselves unable to make ends meet and have to rely on assistance, or in worst cases, find themselves behind bars. Although there are students who will face the dilemma of dropping out, research clearly supports that keeping students in school pays off in the end. CALL TO ACTION: The U.S. already faces a $20,000,000,000,000,000 debt. The nation cannot afford the burden of additional dropouts.